The murderous Caravaggio
Known for his early Baroque chiaroscuro painting and the realistic depiction of religious scenes, the works of Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio are still highly sought after today. He not only broke the rules of art and overcame Mannerism but also showed little regard for worldly laws; in contrast to his often explicitly Catholic themes, the talented painter filled his life with sins. Famous for his drunkenness and brusque demeanor, his willingness to resort to violence increased with his alcohol intake. At one point, he even hurled a plate of artichokes at a waiter’s face. When his bar visits were over, Caravaggio continued his brawls on the streets. Armed with a wooden club, he assaulted a man, leaving another victim of his arbitrary rage severely injured on the street.
He was not an agreeable housemate, who would have thought otherwise? When rent went unpaid for six months, the landlord initiated a forced seizure of Caravaggio's belongings. In response, he smashed a window, which ultimately led the landlord to conclude that it would be better to evict the painter.
In contrast to his carefully crafted paintings, Caravaggio's verbal elegance left much to be desired. Once, he randomly berated a passerby and her daughter on the street. He expressed his anger toward a rival artist in the form of outrageous poems.
So, it’s no surprise that the painter got into trouble with the law both metaphorically and literally during his lifetime. When he was stopped by two guards for carrying illegal weapons—specifically, a sword and a dagger—he threw stones at them. For this offense, Caravaggio was sentenced to prison. In fact, this was not his first incarceration. Once free again, he still seemed to have learned little from his lesson; some time later, he allegedly attempted to castrate another man.
Ultimately, his violent outbursts culminated in a duel with Ranuccio Tomassoni, during which the painter seriously injured his opponent. When the court later sentenced him for this, Caravaggio had already fled to Rome. Although he was later pardoned by the Pope, it is evident from this biography that the artist was not an easy person to get along with. Considering Caravaggio's crimes altogether, one could conclude that, based on current German standards, he would have received an average sentence of...
32 years in prison.
Picasso, first class narcisist
The Spanish painter Pablo Picasso is harder to grasp. This is partly because the artist only passed away in 1973, making it difficult to distance oneself from him. Additionally, he has living descendants who naturally want to protect their family life from the prying eyes of the public. Nevertheless, around the turn of the millennium, one of Picasso's granddaughters speaks out, as Marina Picasso publishes a biography about her life within the Picasso family in 2001. Her book, Und trotzdem eine Picasso: Leben im Schatten meines Großvaters (And Yet a Picasso: Life in the Shadow of My Grandfather), offers the first insights into the family's tragic history.
Her grandmother was the painter's first wife, the Russian ballet dancer Olga Stepanowna Chochlowa. Although they lived separately starting in 1935, when she fell ill with cancer in 1954, Picasso, who by then had begun an affair with a young girl named Marie-Thérèse Walter, couldn't even be bothered to visit his wife. A divorce was out of the question for the painter, as he would have had to share his assets. Thus, Olga died as Picasso's wife, despite the fact that they hadn’t seen each other for years. However, Picasso was not faithful to Marie-Thérèse either. He met Dora Maar as early as 1937. Picasso played both women against each other, relishing the jealousy and delighting in the power he held over them.
"I had no interest in making a decision ... I told them to sort it out among themselves."
For both women, this emotional torture had serious consequences; Marie-Thérèse committed suicide in 1977, four years after Picasso's death. When Picasso separated from Dora Maar in 1943 because he had met someone new, Dora fell into a deep depression. Two years later, she was treated as an inpatient at a psychiatric hospital in Sainte-Anne because of it. Picasso's new girlfriend was 21-year-old Françoise Gilot. At this time, the painter was 61. She was the only one who did not let herself be crushed by the narcissistic artist. Even today, she looks back on her time with Picasso and is convinced that she has never loved like that again. After the separation from Françoise, Picasso, now 72, met 27-year-old Jacqueline Roque, who remained by his side until his death and whom he married in 1961. Thirteen years after his death, she also took her own life.
Another tragic death that Picasso, due to his narcissistic personality, was at least indirectly responsible for, was the suicide of his grandson Pablito. The young man was the son of Paolo Picasso, who was born from the marriage between Pablo Picasso and his first wife, Olga.
Jacqueline, the artist's second wife, denied both Olga's children and grandchildren, as well as Françoise’s, the opportunity to attend Picasso's funeral. Pablito was so horrified by this that he drank the bleach "Javelle-Lauge." Although he died three weeks after ingesting the bleach, his relatives were busy mourning the deceased Pablo Picasso, and his sister Marina lacked the financial means to have her brother treated in a special clinic, where Pablito might have been saved.
According to Picasso, women were either "goddesses or doormats." This view ran like an oil slick through his life, made clear by every one of his actions. Unfortunately, one cannot judge a person for being an asshole. The only thing that could have been held against the artist was an incident where he extinguished a cigarette stub on Françoise Gilot's cheek. However, she never pressed charges. Thus, the only contact the artist ever had with the police was an interrogation regarding the theft of the Mona Lisa.
Martin Luther – "stupide aude"
It is no longer a secret that the "great reformer" Martin Luther was an unpleasant person and an enthusiastic misogynist. This is especially evident from his numerous table talks. Nevertheless, schools today often speak of the man who believed it would be no loss to lose a woman in childbirth in an exclusively positive context. (After all, that was her only purpose: to bear children.)
In my opinion, this is at least partly due to the ideological influence of the Nazis, who used Luther's anti-Semitic statements for their propaganda and presented him as a role model. Even before that, Enlightenment thinkers admired his supposedly critical examination of the previously untouched religion.
Therefore, for many, Luther symbolizes the "critical Enlightener." However, the actual undertone of his recorded writings sounds cynical, bitter— even misanthropic. So not at all "sapere aude!" The reason that Enlightenment thinkers valued reason, Luther referred to as "the whore of the devil." In doubt, it was always religion > reason.
And since we’re on the topic of whores and devils; he was also a promoter of witch burnings. After all, "the weaker sex, both in body and mind" was particularly easy for Satan to seduce. Moreover, witch trials were more common in Protestant regions than among Catholics.
Considering the nailing of his 95 Theses as vandalism, as well as his disparaging remarks about women as insults, in addition to the false accusations and punishment of supposed witches, one might conclude that Martin Luther would receive roughly:
15 years of prison.
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